It's all about I

I like it when I do it like… I like it when I do it right… I like it when I do it without hesitating…
I like it without source… I like it loud and fast… I like it slow and moody…
I like green shiny things… I like touching everything I see… I like sunshine on my face…
I am 8 fingers on a keyboard… I think decafe is pointless… I need to know everything is going to be ok...

I could if i wanted

Every guy likes to think that under the right circumstances we have the potential to become the toughest mofo this side of that dude from Payback.

Bad things happen to good people it’s a fact… your loving pregnant wife is beaten to death and you’re left wallowing in a pile of used nappies. With nothing left to live for you breakdown in a mess of drink, vomit and suicide attempts. After the first year of this cycle aimlessly wondering from bin to bin an estranged Kung fu master sees strength and potential, having pity he takes you in and teaches you the skills needed to kill lots of people. Please note this sequence even in real life is always in montage form. After the montage bloody revenge will ensue and just like any revenge movie you start at the bottom taking out everyone till you reach the top. You’ll get stabbed and shot along the way but it’s nothing compared to what you went through after loosing your family.

In the back of every guys mind this situation is always a possibility it’s a process but always possible

Sam, Meng and I rocked it…

It all started out so well the day was fantastic, the sun stayed behind the clouds for the most part and we even had just a little bit of rain to cool us down about 50km in. all in all a good day for killing yourself.

Meng and I lost Sam in the first 25km… we don’t really know what happened, it’s a mystery never to be solved. I managed to completely forget the loss of a teammate by chatting to whoever was sitting at my side (shout outs to Anita my female mountain biking friend). Heading down to Sorrento we averaged a little over 30kmh while sitting on the back of some roadies. Alas our pack broke apart at Mt Martha as she completely murdered the field. Heading up the Mt I wasn’t paying attention and went off-road and in to the grass, but if you ask me it was worth it I got a rest and made some new friends for the next 10min of hell.

Once we hit Sorrento I’d already ridden 40km further than any other ride I’ve done and I was feeling good and strong. Once we hit Queenscliff and started to climb on cold legs I felt pathetic and weak, it was probably the worst point in the ride for me as it was just climb after climb into a headwind with no groups in sight and nothing much to look at. Riding into Geelong downhill with a nice tailwind changed my mind, well that and our long lost riding companion Sam catching us at a set of lights. Together again we flew our of Geelong all happy and ready for the long straight ahead. For the first half I took the lead with Meng in the middle and Sam at the back. Eventually we grabbed the back wheels of a pack of roadies who were kind enough to tow us the rest of the way to Werribee.

The final 30 km was hardest on Meng who’s legs keep on cramping up every 20min or so, but we pulled through and left no man behind. We pushed him hard and I’ve been informed he still has issues walking but we managed to achieve our main goal and got over the Westgate before it closed. Meng did a brilliant job. He only started training 3 weeks before the ride. Funny thing is he doesn’t even own a bike, he borrowed a really sweet all carbon road bike from a friends dad.

The rest of the ride was very slow crawling through the Melbourne streets I think we caught every red light! Crossing over the finish line we were rewarded with a roaring crowd of three people who were actually cheering for the guys behind us… on the plus side I did get lost of free biscuits

It was a day of firsts for the both of us

I was sixteen at the time, pissed off and doing what I do best, goading someone till they snap. They snapped and the next thing I know a knife is at my throat and I get a massive shot of adrenalin. WTF where did the knife come from anyway? I didn’t start to cry, beg or wet my pants (on reflection I really surprised my self on this point) I got angry. Now I’m not completely stupid mind you I wanted to come out of this situation alive so I didn’t make an aggressive lunge for the knife or goad them on even further (goading will just get you dead it never plays out like in the movies) but I also didn’t try and talk them down either... I don't like giving in, (my pride often has the annoying habit of trying to beat my life to a bloody pulp). From this point on things get awkward, not the ‘my housemate just caught me cleaning the toilet with his electric toothbrush’ kind of awkward, but more of a ‘hey buddy, I just seriously thought about killing you just then but at the last moment decided not to’ awkward. So their we were just sort of chilling, not really knowing what to do from here.

Grace

Her name is Grace soft and gentle she flows, she is something I can’t catch, like mist she is unable to be held. This is something I will have to live with.

I wake up, and I’m somewhere else, the light is soft and warm. The bed moves, I'm still half asleep, I slowly role round only to meet the eyes of some nameless girl I vaguely remember from the evening before. Damn… why couldn’t she leave during the night like all the others? Who the hell dose she think she is. Her breath smells like stale wine, which is not something I want first thing in the morning. I try not to think what she is having to put up with if it’s anything like what I’m tasting she is braver than me… why the hell is she smiling…

She starts to move and without uttering a word she is off the bed, her eyes are sill holding me as she slips over the sheets and clothes abandoned on the floor from the evening past. There is some thing different about her I didn’t see it last night and even with make-up smeared from tears and sweet she is the prettiest girl I can remember seeing in a long time. She makes it to the bathroom closing the door but meeting my gaze till the last. Crap I hope she is over 16. I hear the shower start…

Why dose this always happen, what is it about me that attracts the freaks. The shower is still running. I’ll offer her money, nothing gets rid of a chick faster than calling her a whore. Money! Where are my pants? I need my pants. I crumble to the floor and start searching the river of cloth. Something still doesn’t feel right, but I manage to emerge with pants on and a wallet in hand.

The shower’s stopped!

Aggressive Saving

With the whole issue in the US money has been on my mind I need to stop thinking like a child in this area of my life. I love games, movies, books, and music but I can’t go spending my hard earned dosh on everything shiny that crosses my field of vision. To be completely honest at this point in time it’s more like a philosophy than a complete plan but I think it’s a good one.

This realisation came more by force than by choice thanks to a recent payment issue with my current employer that’s dragged on for the last few months. The whole situation made me audit my spending and divide things between need and want as a result I’ve changed my phone and internet plan and now buy the “no name” equivalent when grocery shopping. I’ve also become quite the leach going wherever the free food is, married couples with kids are the best for this kind of leaching tho I try not to abuse the good will of my friends… please keep feeding me!

Riding in the Rain

As the Merc changed into my lane and hit the breaks I was thanking God for the discs on my bike and their stopping power. The little manoeuvre I pulled would have looked cool as sin to the car right behind me but it scared the crap out of me. Riding in the city is hella dangerous and the longer you’ve been doing it the more chance you have of leaving your mark on someone else’s car. On the plus side it’s a rush and that’s the issue, the more fun I start to have the crazier I ride…

Forgetful Me

I wonder how many blogs start out like this... some guy sitting down to re watch a movie (charade) with his laptop at hand, then thinking "I should start a blog" at least 4 I reckon. that being said I'm going to deviate a little from the standard first post topics and not tell you what I plan to do or where I will be taking this. I'm just going to type.

I've just been reading some 6 word stories while watching the movie and starting a blog. I think I need to slow down a little as it could be the reason why I forget so many things, keys, dates and friends names for example. with the amount of data being pushed towards us it's a valid case to start wearing a name tags.